I hate being away from him. It doesn't matter where we were, who else we were with, as wonderful as that all may have been, it still stinks to be apart. It is not fun. The feeling is mutual. But I will just speak for myself in this post. Anywhere is not as great if he's not there and everywhere is better when he is near me.
HOWEVER, being apart does make me appreciate and value my dear husband all the more when we are reunited.
I was hoping to experience that wonderful reuniting on Wednesday, June 19th when Elli and I returned on the train, but I had a bad attitude about something stupid (Matt not doing something my way probably...). So I got us off on the wrong foot. Normally little things like that get forgotten or talked about and are quickly repented of and forgiven, but alas we got in a car accident not moments after we got in the car and drove out of the train station parking lot. Everyone was ok, but my bad attitude set the tone for how the afternoon went. Sadly, it wasn't great and we didn't get to really talk things through until much, much later in the day.
It got me thinking though, what if everyone hadn't been "ok" in the accident? What if one of us was seriously injured? Or worse...? I let my pride (things not being done my way or whatever--> it was so insignificant we can't remember what it was!) get in the way of what should have been a joyful reuniting. If the accident was more severe that could have been the last conversation we ever had together. How terrible.
I am so thankful for God's grace in giving me an opportunity to repent of my sin and reconcile with my husband, but God didn't "owe" me that. Everything could have been awful, but instead it was actually quite painless. We walked across the street from where the accident happened to an Enterprise and we were in a rental car headed down the road in less than an hour (grace!). What placement for the accident to have happened! Also, Enterprise was out of cars or they were all reserved, I still don't even know how we got one (grace!). The guy admitted that it was his fault for backing into us when he could have tried to say that we rear-ended him and easily put it on us and our insurance (grace!). So much grace! Thank You Lord!
James 4:13-17:
13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
Let's not put off good things that we should do or neglect repenting of sin/reconciling with others another moment. Our time here is so limited. The Psalmist reminds us of this over and over again.
Ps. 90:12 is a great one:
"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."
What a great prayer to pray and mind set to have! Please Lord cultivate this in me!God's grace was shown to me over and over again on Wednesday. What a marvelous ending to the day when my husband held me in his arms and told me he forgave me and he loves me.
Then on Thursday we were blessed to go on a hike together and eat dinner out in the backyard as a family. There was a quiet moment at the dinner table when Matthew looked at me and tears began to well up in his eyes, he smiled and I smiled back.
"You're so beautiful" he said.
No make up, sweaty from the hike, hair a red frizzled mess, t-shirt... Following Christ's example, Matthew looks beyond my exterior condition, even beyond my ugly, sinful mess-ups from the day before and he sees what I can be and what I will become, by God's grace.
This was beautiful, Lauren. I'm tearing up in my cubicle. I needed to read this. Thanks for sharing! <3
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